8 Signs You've Been with a German Too Long


As most of you already know, C is from Germany, and this transcends a whole new level of understanding and cultural habits. Fortunately for me, I tend to align myself with a lot of the same

cultural habits of German people and I've spent a lot of time in Europe so this made our relationship pretty easy from the get go. However, it is not the easiest of relationships to get yourself into if you don't have an open mind. I recently read an article on the Matador Network about the "14 Signs You're Married to a German," and while most of them rang true, I've come up with 8 signs that you've simply been around a German too long..."not that there's anything wrong with that."

1. American bread sucks and I know it - I've given up defending and making excuses for the bread of my homeland. Compared to the magical loafs that emerge from a German's oven, there is no comparison. It's fresh and delicious, and if you don't eat it in a day it will go bad. I hate that American bread has a shelf life of a week or more.

2. I listen to German radio more than I watch American news - On our last trip to Germany, C and I discovered an awesome radio station out of Munich that plays awesome music, both foreign and domestic, and makes sure to switch it up pretty often. When I switch to an American radio station, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I hear one more Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber song. The German station also provides the news, weather, and traffic report every half hour - which is sometimes pretty amusing. Through the magic of modern technology, I can listen to German radio through an app on my iPhone, and *hint hint* you can too.

3. I haven't bought Heinz since buying two massive bottles of Currywurst Ketchup - Seriously, tomato ketchup sucks after you try putting currywurst ketchup on all the same things. As someone who eats their fries with BBQ sauce instead of ketchup anyway, just imagine that curry powder has been added to BBQ sauce and this is what you get: awesomeness.

4. It's no longer "soccer" it's now "football" and yes, I hate myself too - The first full day C and I spent together was watching Germany play Argentina for the World Cup, and at no other time did I ever give a crap about soccer. Since I have to refer to the sport so much in conversations, I've had to start calling it "Fußball" and I've even had to ask myself who I was. Like any sport, if you watch it (and say it) enough, you get used to it.

5. In my household, I've replaced the "W's" with "V's" just to be annoying - Granted, C's English accent is actually pretty darn good and his vocabulary is next to none, but every once in a while the "w" becomes a "v" and then I feel the need to keep the trend going. I never said I was a nice person.

6. I'm now the co-owner of a Volkswagen and I understand the hype - My dad has actually owned an Audi A4 since 2006 and I love driving that car whenever I can. When I met C he was leasing a VW Jetta and we just recently traded that one in for a 2016 VW Tiguan - and it is an AWESOME car! C once reserved a BMW Zipcar for me to use when he was out of town and the technology was so crazy to figure out, yet really awesome. Yes, I don't think I will ever NOT own a German car.

7. I've put down the hoppy-craft beers and now go for refreshment over bold flavors - There is nothing quite like an ice-cold refreshing pilsner on a hot day. I just can't get the same level of refreshment with an IPA. While I am a fan of most beers, I tend to go for the one I can drink and go "ahhhh" rather than drink and go "whoa!!"

8. I have the urge to drink mulled wine more often than I should - Unfortunately, I now know the truth of how much work, and fire, go into making that amazing drink. The end result is, I spend the entire year waiting for Christmas to come about for a whole new reason.

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